It’s my last Sunday in Hua Hin, and I’m feeling a mix of emotions: the most prevalent of which is excitement for (another) brand new start. My new job is in Sukhothai, the original kingdom of Thailand, located in the northern part of central Thailand. I’ll be teaching Kindergarten English/Science/Music AND Yoga! This school wanted me specifically because I am a yoga teacher, and their approach is mindfulness-based.
How perfect…
I’m ready for this course to be over, if I’m being honest. It’s been an intense ride. Last Thursday and Friday were hands-down the most exhausting days of my life. We taught at English camp both days for six straight hours. Which doesn’t seem like a lot for teaching a class of well-behaved native English speakers, but these kids were far from that.
Though they were adorable, many of them were very rowdy, and nothing we said or did would calm them down. When it was going well, it was going really well. But when it was rough… it was rough.
There were one or two instances where my partner and I just lost complete control of the class, and no game, no amount of shouting, no “discipline” could calm anyone down, so we simply left the room and ended class early.
I am not a loud person by nature, so by the end of Thursday I was dead. I stumbled to 7/11, got 2 huge bottles of water and all the Western snacks I could find (oreos, chips, mentos), walked back to my room and passed out at 9pm.
The good kids made up for it. I got loads of hugs, high fives, fist bumps, and artwork. Just having one little kid run up to me during the break, give me a big hug and say “teacher, I loved your game!”, made everything worth it. Though I was wiped out, I felt filled with purpose.
This week will be easier: final exams, working on my final lesson plan, graduation, etc. I am itching to get to my placement. I really can’t wait to live alone for once. I’ve never truly had my own space, and whatever I end up with will become my sanctuary.
My way of thinking has been challenged since arriving in Thailand in such a way that I feel like an entirely new person.
Since I was freshly out of college, I was looking for a way to live abroad. I spent hours at my desk job just Googling different places. I applied to dozens of programs (didn’t follow through with any though, because I was in a serious relationship and it seemed like a pipe dream.) I imagined myself living abroad; how it would fix all of my problems. How I would no longer feel like an outsider. How I’d have the life of my dreams.
And maybe some of that is true. This is a dream life, its just not as effortless as I’d expected. Sure, I post lots of beautiful photos, and I’ve met some of the coolest people ever, and the food is absolutely to-die-for. But there’s also jellyfish stings, very questionable toilets, weird insect bites, “bad belly” from putting ice in my drink, being forced to deal with old dynamics (in order to finally clear them), the realization that there is actually a very dark side to this beautiful paradise.
My past perspective, and I assume the perspective many people have of my life, was that being somewhere new fixes everything. That is not the case. And it’s not an easy thing to pick up and leave an entire life behind.
I can’t fully put it into words, but I’ve changed. Because of this experience, there is going back to the old me. And for that simple fact alone, all of this is worth it.
Lunar Liv 