If you’re reading this, it means I made it out alive and I’m safely back in Sukhothai with my laptop and hopefully a Thai iced tea (I deserve it.)
My first ever “visa trip”, and first trip to Lao, changed me as a person. Hardened me you might say–like a convict.
The amount of stress I experienced this week is laughable in retrospect, but felt anything but in the moment.
day 1
After a twelve hour overnight bus ride, I arrived in Mukdahan, Thailand, preparing to cross the border. I met some Americans who were there for the same reason; when we made it to Lao we all got in a tuk tuk to get to the embassy.
It was a 3 minute ride, and when we got there the driver dumped us out, said “100 baht each. Embassy closed.” He might as well have spat at the four of us. So, we got ripped off immediately, and learned that the Thai embassy was closed that day, in honor of National Lao Day. Since visa trips take two full days to complete, that meant we’d spend an extra day in Savannakhet, which we learned…is a whole lot of nothing.
But being sunny, optimistic Americans, we saw a bright side…there was a sign for bowling off in the distance! Since we had nothing else to do in Lao, we walked towards this giant mall/bowling alley/cinema.
Only to find…
Yep, a giant abandoned building with a single trampoline. If there is one image to represent my impression of Lao, it is four very exhausted Americans enchanted by the promise of bowling only to find a big empty, apocalyptic, space. And of course, the consolation prize of a trampoline.
After soaking in this magic for a little while, we decided to venture out and find a hotel, although because of financial reasons, it was definitely suggested we just camp out on the trampoline.
“Finding a hotel” meant wandering down several long dirt paths, only to come up to different guesthouses and have someone in the group say “I’m not sleeping there”, then eventually having a tuk tuk bring us to a semi-civilized place in town (negotiating the price firmly beforehand this time.)
We found a hotel, took a 3? 4? hour nap. Time doesn’t exist in Lao. Then we went to the big attraction in town, a riverside bar with a deck to watch the sunset.
Followed by the market, where I had some sort of Laotian version of Pad Thai.
Day 2
The embassy opens at 9am, so we tried to get there at 8:30. You could see the line of people from a block away, maybe 200 lined up down the street. We took our place in line.
Not a whole lot to report from day 2. We stood in line for eight hours. I read an entire book.
I would say the highlight was, after turning my visa paperwork in with my stomach grumbling, going to this cafe across the street and having the most satisfying plate of vegetarian Indian Thali of my entire life.
Day 3
Four hours in line to pickup our passports. The border closes at 6, and they inform us they may not be done processing everyone’s paperwork by then.
By a stroke of magic, we all get our visas.
Hop on the bus to cross back into Thailand. Wait in line at immigration… Hop on a second bus to get to the bus station. Make it to the bus station. By this point its 5:30pm or so.
I approach the woman selling tickets, and ask about a bus to Sukhothai. She gestures to another woman. I approach the other woman, and ask her the same thing. She pretends I’m not there, and starts waving people over for Bangkok. I ask again, and she looks at me and says, “bus closed.”
The last bus for my town had left at 5:00. I was stuck in Mukdahan for the night.
Crying in front of Thai people as an American is a strange, strange experience. Nobody knows what to do. And no one has been told that staring can be considered rude, so everyone just stares at you like a circus act. I cried my little heart out. I was exhausted, all I wanted to do was get on the bus and wake up at home. The next day (Thursday) was a holiday, and I was planning to take the day to regenerate and sleep off the stress from this trip. Also, I was nearly out of money.
I found a hotel, they gave me a discount because I was crying and they probably didn’t know what else to do. I called my school director, who called the police (?), she wired them money, they came to give me said money, and took a picture of the exchange.
Side note: The cop added me on Line, and I learned that they make a series of Line stickers specifically for the police. Which is kind of adorable.
The next bus home wasn’t until 5:00pm the next day. I cried my eyes out until I fell asleep.
Day 4
I will say, the bed at this hotel was comfortable. I thought I had slept for a million hours, but I woke up and it was 6am. I stayed at the hotel for as long as I could watching Netflix on my phone, and then went for a walk to the grocery store, where I purchased a gallon of water and kept walking.
I found a restaurant but they only did BBQ. I had a beer. One of the employees sat down with me and started conversing using Google Translate. I told him I wanted noodles, and he got in his car to go buy the ingredients since they didn’t have them at the restaurant.
This was a major highlight. I was already feeling like a new person, like minor things couldn’t faze me. I was so dead from the traveling I’d done so far that it felt like everything stressful was far behind me.
Day 4-5
I was wrong.
Let me tell you about the longest bus ride I’ve ever had. I can’t tell you in hours, because I haven’t the slightest clue how long it was. Instead, I was measuring in the chill of the air conditioner, the brightness of the lights each time we stopped, the length of my prayers that we could get the bus moving again each time we were stalled so the bus driver could have a snack or talk to his buddy, the number of different ways I contorted my body to find something that resembled comfort…
I’m savyy now, so I learned to cover my head with a blanket this time to avoid stares as I cried. Though, I’m sure the Thai people still heard my little gasps and sniffles.
I was aching to get into my bed. I texted my school director requesting to come in during the second half of the school day so I could recover in the morning. She told me that there was an important ceremony for the king in the morning at school and I would benefit a lot from being there.
I got into my town at 4am. I found a tuk tuk, asked him how much it would be to take me home… he said 100 baht, an enormous ripoff. But I responded “Fine, whatever.” He actually seemed taken aback by my demeanor, and at this point, I said “80 baht”, just to preserve a shred of dignity. He agreed.
He drove me home and I felt the hug of my apartment and my warm bed.
…I woke up 2 hours later to go to school.
Day 5
I was/am delirious. I watched the king ceremony as though I was in a dream. Zoning out for long periods of time, trying to remember the breathing techniques the monk taught me during training as I stood there among the screeches of the children.
My director told me I could leave after the ceremony, but I couldn’t hold back emotion that long. I was coming in and out of consciousness, the only thing bringing me back to my physical body being the hot tears in my eyes.
After what felt like two eternities, my co-teacher drove me home.
I’m different now after this week.
I really am.
Something exists in me that wasn’t there before. Where there was too much sweetness in the face of adversity, there’s now something else. I’m showing up differently for situations where I would have been taken advantage of before, and just refusing that treatment.
I’m meeting the stares of Thai people with stares right back, and a big smile. I’m protecting my space, and letting it be known that I need to rest. That I need to cry sometimes, and that’s okay. I’m just not apologizing for taking up space anymore.
And that is what this week has taught me.
Lunar Liv 