Working out the kinks

To put it gently, the first week of my TESOL course was rough. Emotionally and physically draining, and the whole group is feeling it. There is definitely a collective consciousness among us, which has been interesting. I haven’t bonded with a group so fast before, but we’re all at the same place in our lives for this month; though all of our journeys to get to this point are so different.

The course has progressed like this: long day of lecture, lesson planning for homework, long day of presentations, long day of lecture, homework, repeat.

I’ve learned a lot, it feels like within the first week I’ve already become a teacher. (I’ve also got my placement, and I am so excited about it, but I will wait to share where I’ll be officially until its set in stone.)

The learning didn’t come without strife. I was so exhausted on Tuesday that I left class, jumped in the ocean, and just sat on the beach and cried. This realization came to me that being in a beautiful new place will not fix all of my problems. In fact, being here highlights a lot of the internal work I still want to do. I still have a ways to go before I become my ideal self, but I’ve made so much progress and Thailand has highlighted that as well.

After that moment on the beach, I got my first Thai massage. It was an oil massage, and I was literally being walked on. She dug her elbows into my shoulders and nearly gasped at how many knots I had.

I was sent off with some lemon tea, feeling like a brand new person. Obviously as a yoga teacher, I know there is no separation between mind and body: what is going on for us emotionally manifests in our physical bodies. But this massage brought me to a new level of understanding.

After that night, though class was exhausting, I felt much more capable and balanced. Only two more weeks remaining on this course, and I can already tell that even with the challenges, I will miss this time. These people. But we will all be placed across Thailand, so I’ll have plenty of places to visit.