A huge highlight of my time here has been the opportunity to meet some of the most badass, independent, solo female travelers. Women who took an enormous leap to come live in a foreign culture by themselves.
I was marveling to my friend Tilly about some of the qualities I admire about these people (herself included), and she said something along the lines of, “it’s the best feeling when you’re talking about what you love in other people, and realize you have that quality too.”
Sometimes I forget that I, myself, am a badass solo female traveler, and really the opportunity I’ve had is to see myself reflected in these incredible women.
So I had this brilliant idea. Since I have a blog already, I am going to use it to introduce some of these amazing people, and hear in their own words about their motivations, challenges, and rewards of moving abroad solo.
Starting with, you guessed it…myself.
Name: Olivia Griffin
Age: 27
Nationality: American
Tell me a little about yourself…
People describe me, to my own bewilderment, as sweet and innocent. I agree with the sweet part, but I would never use the descriptor “innocent” when talking about myself. I guess that’s because I’ve always lived inside my own head. In fact, I’m someone who has been through quite a bit of darkness. I’ve had my phases of: depression, anxiety, delinquency, rebellion, anger, experimentation, strong aversion to authority (something I’m still working through), among other things. But these things don’t define me, just as “sweet and innocent” doesn’t define me. I am the space in between. I am where consciousness meets humanity. I don’t think any of us can be simplified into words, when it comes down to it.
One thing that is seared into my memory that I think describes me best is something that happened to me at work. It was my first job after graduating from college, and I was really struggling to fit into this place. Every day it felt like a part of my soul was dying off. I approached the director one day, teary eyed, and I remember saying “I just want to be authentic.” When I later told my boyfriend at the time about the meeting, he said, “well you can’t expect to be authentic at work.” And living in complete opposition to that statement is pretty much the definition of who I am.
What inspired you to pick up and move to Thailand?
Doing the wrong thing for long enough. Pretending I was something I wasn’t for long enough. Learning how to feel fear, embrace it, and then let it go. Maybe also my yoga teacher training. It was the first time I realized, “damn, I can work and also be doing something I love at the same time?”
The strengths I have aren’t the kind that are rewarded in a capitalist structure. I’m a dreamer, I was born to make art, help people, travel the world, fully experience things so that I can be a part of something brand new. A new way of doing things, a new way of thinking, a new approach to life. It wasn’t until things “fell apart” for me that I could start to build what I actually wanted. Or at least give my dreams a fair shot.
What has been the biggest challenge since moving here?
A loaded question. This journey has been a kaleidoscope of challenges.
When I first arrived and spent a month on the beach with a bunch of Westerners (which was a party and a half), the biggest challenge was that I realized, “oh yeah, I’m still me.” I had an image in my head about being immediately transformed upon arriving, and suddenly everything in my world would be splendid and beautiful… I failed to remember everything I had learned throughout life, which is that real change requires hardship and pain.
When I first arrived, I was surprised that the universe would have the audacity to present me with situations I had not fully cleared yet. Things that I have been challenged by over and over again, that just needed to be addressed so I could let them go with grace.
Then, the challenges got harder. They involved moving to a place where no one speaks my language, needing to let go of my own cultural expectations and immersing myself into something totally foreign.
Then! The two things were combined. Dealing with old situations that I’ve dealt with many-a-time, but haven’t cleared, in the context of a brand new culture.
That, my friends, is how you transform.
What about the biggest reward?
Personal growth is not only the biggest reward, but the biggest motivator in my life right now. There are days where I wonder, “why would I do this to myself?” but in these moments if I can slow down and remember that I am here for me, I’m able to move forward. Usually with a much more positive attitude.
Everything is worth it when you think in terms of how it can make you grow.
How has this journey changed you so far?
It’s caused me to surrender, because I haven’t had a choice in the matter. When you come to a culture that is so opposite from your own, your first instinct is to think that their way of doing things is “wrong”, because it is so different than how you would do them back home. It doesn’t make logical sense to me as an American, for example, why indirect communication (telling someone else about the problem you have with someone, so they can relay that message) would be preferable to just saying how you feel to the person. The more I can relax into situations, and just accept, “okay, this is how it’s done here,” the happier I am
If you could give one piece of advice to women who want to solo-travel for the first time, what would it be?
There’s no denying that it’s hard; it takes a really strong person to be able to venture out into the unknown by themselves. It requires a lot of belief in your own power, which as women we are not always encouraged to have. But through the process of solo-travel, especially as a woman, you step into this sense of yourself that allows you to conquer fear, loneliness, everything.
So my advice is to just do it, and keep going. Even when shit is really challenging, because it will be. I’ve found that on days when it feels the most bleak, when I’m missing my family , friends, burritos, IPAs, all the comforts of my home, that’s when I know I’ve got to put myself out there. I’ve got to go befriend a Thai person, or try some weird food, or visit temples. Usually, by doing what feels bizarre and relaxing into it, I strangely come back to myself.
I remember there’s a huge world out there, waiting to be explored… and that home is a precious place filled with love and burritos, that will always be waiting for me when I return.
Lunar Liv 
Great post 🙂
LikeLike